What if you woke up to an empty bed, and a note that said “I’m never coming home, I can’t live with the person I’ve become”? Would you even notice I was gone? or would would you just carry on staring blankly into spaces that I used to occupy? I always fucking hated that distance in your eyes.
I’m a ghost; I’m a shadow on the wall of a house you don’t go in any more. And though transparency is nothing new to me, I guess I never thought you’d be the one to leave.
So what’s there to say? I know that “sorry” is what’s expected, but what will that change? I’m still sleepless in the bed that I have made, the grave, the product of my selfish ways.
And I know that this would mean everything to someone but nothing to you, I never meant to be the boy who cried wolf, there was just no other way to get through to you, I mean how was I expected to tell you the truth? You couldn’t even look me in the face most days, and it’s taken me this long to work out why.
But I, I spent years feeling ashamed, I spent years being afraid of something that wasn’t there in the first place.
Did you ever love me?
What if you woke up, and you’d forgotten everything I have said, could we be happy again?
If I can learn to live with myself, could you learn to love me like you said you did? I know that I hate the man I am, but I’m the man that you made me.
credits
from Haze (You Buried It),
released May 18, 2014
Music and lyrics by Well Wisher
Engineered by Timothy Vincent of Woodcroft Audio
Mixed by Gethin Pearson
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